At first glance, I had to look closely at this photo, wondering if I’d missed the news that Madison lakes had frozen over while I was at the Western Challenge!
Pat Heppert posted this on his Facebook page on Saturday, December 14th, 2019.
Had a great day on Minnetonka today. A true pleasure to sail along side Mike Maloney and his Jerry Simon built Renegade “Simonized IV”. Unbelievable craftsmanship on that Renegade, and truly legendary. My boat went fine, even with shorty runners. Anyways, sailed Gideon’s Bay, Excelsior Bay, Echo Bay, and along Big Island East to about Harry’s. Ice was rough and snow drifted, but we did fine all day. Many Nites out and 1 DN. I didn’t sail main lake because unknown and unscouted and snow covered so harder to see thickness. But others did and reported main lake had less snow, no drifts, and much smoother. All the usual pressure ridges were in their usual locations on main lake.
Pat Heppert is temporarily converting his C Skeeter DRIFTER into a land sailor for the September 28 – October 6, 2019 gathering at Alvord Desert in southeast Oregon. Pat writes:
Here’s the latest evolution of iceboat craziness from the shop that is home to the Drifter C Skeeter in Belle Plaine, MN. John Eisenlohr has graciously extended an invitation for iceboaters to join him in the desert for a week of sailing, even going as far as promising iceboaters some seat time in the mini-skeeter fleet.
Sounds like fun, but it seemed like I should be taking a “mini” skeeter of my own. With much advice borrowed from John’s extensive landsailing knowledge, Drifter is in the process of being converted for the task. An extra plank that was previously too short and too soft was stiffened for the added width of landsailing axles. The springboard is completely new just for landsailing. The axles and steering hardware was ordered from Amazon, just search for “C skeeter landsailing conversion kit”, and all the pieces are in the box. Needs paint and trailer modification, but should be ready. Not sure how that canopy/greenhouse thing is going to work out in the hot sun.
Pat Heppert, his C class Skeeter DRIFTER, and the Wisconsin Skeeter Assoc. Bottle Trophy
It took a while, but the Wisconsin Skeeter Association Bottle Trophy finally found its way to last season’s recipient Pat Heppert. Looks like Pat had the perfect bottle waiting for it! Pat writes:
It is a great honor to be a part of the legacy of this trophy, and I am eternally grateful to be the caretaker of this for 2019. The artistry and imagination of every one of Harry Whitehorse’s creations are truly impressive. In the background you will also see the new expanded headquarters of the Heppert boat works!
I imagined it would be like Frank Lloyd Wright stopping by to check out our Convention Center. He’d be wearing the half circle reading glasses occasionally glancing over the top and then returning to the precise plans which captured his vision. The pockets of his finely tailored suit coat would be filled with measuring devices—a digital caliper, a laser guided tape measure, an atomic plumbometer—all calibrated by NASA. He’d pace around the structure, all too frequently grumbling a seemingly agitated “hmmmm,” which could only be interpreted as, “did this epoxy sniffer really think THIS is what I had in mind?” I was prepared for a tirade.
The night before, I had that dream where you’re supposed to be taking the final exam, but you realize you never went to class. Not one time. Or read any of the books. I needed something to relieve my anxiety. As luck would have it, a CBD store opened in my neighborhood. The proprietor is an old hippie, who goes by the name “Moon Dart.” He somehow rationalized that cashing in on people’s physical and mental struggles didn’t make him “the man.” Looks and smells like a capitalist to me, but in my hood we’re even left of Bernie, so that’s worse than calling someone the other “c” word. Yeah, that one. I went right for the highest potency, figuring it was like DN runners—more is always better.
Turns out, my anxiety was completely unnecessary. Inspector Heppert was very kind. At least in-person. When he gets a few beers in him, he might have the entire bar giggling like 7th grade girls at a slumber party, showing pictures of my incompetence on his iPad. But at least I won’t be around to hear it. After I slap a bunch of carbon on the outside, most of my infractions will be hidden anyway. And I know a good painter. So, I’m counting on at least “looking” fast. By the way, Moon Dart says the CBD oil is great for stoning runners. He advises stopping at 420. Makes sense.
I’ve never done any metal fabrication to speak of. My few attempts with a hacksaw and general purpose drill bits always led to cussing and much shorter bits. But look at me now! I’m cranking out metal like Ozzie with a mountain of Marshalls. He might even give me a bro-nod. Not familiar? Spend some time on any college campus. It’s a form of “subtle” acknowledgement, when you’re too cool to acknowledge anything. Popularized by privileged, white males who grew up in McMansions in the suburbs, but still think the persona gives them street cred. Usually executed with the head slightly cocked to the side, squinted eyes and a subtle backwards tipping of the head. Often paired with the word, “yo.”
OK, so far, my functional and artistic output has only been from aluminum stock, but for a guy with metal phobia, my therapist tells me we’ve just had a breakthrough. And my sponsor, Pat, has been like a cheerleader at a wrestling match—appreciated by the singlet-clad gladiator, but sort of awkward for everyone else. “Gimme a G, gimmie an R, gimmie an I, gimmie an NDR…Grinder…Grinder…will take you far! Man, I can send the shards flying when I hear that one!
With all this encouragement, I may be getting over confident. I’m throwing around terms like 6061-T6, 304 SS, needle bearing, naval bronze, #10 rivet nut, and more into casual conversation. And I just ordered a pair of steel-toed Red Wings and purchased the bulk pack of Gojo with the convenient, dispensing pump. Livin’ large!
Not sure my confidence will extend to stainless, though. I tried to machine stainless once. As in “once-upon-a-time” or “one-time-only.” Your choice. I may have to call on Izzy the metal wizard. He left Oz some years ago and is rumored to live near Pewaukee. Locals say he grew tired of uninvited guests showing up wanting help with this and that. And that the roads were annoyingly bumpy. Some believe him to be Mark Isabell, the DN and A-Skeeter guy, but of course, no one has ever seen the Wizard. Legend has it that he’s got this magical machine he keeps behind the curtain that can cut metal with water. Yeah, I know, right…cutting metal with water? That sounds plausible. Not! But maybe that’s why he’s the Wizard?
